(And at the ‘Hamlet’ Press Room…)
GABE: I’m gonna start hard, and deliberate: The online posting of ‘Hamlet’ is at the moment being delayed.
(Crowd hubub)
GABE: Yes, yes we know. And believe us, we are also terribly broken up about amount of time this is all taking-
KEETER: (under breath.) Not.
GABE: -but an interesting opportunity has arisen. An opportunity we feel we cannot back down from. And so for the time being, secrecy is our friend, and more information will become available as soon as possible. Any questions?
EMMETT: Can you tell us anything at all about what we can expect from this ‘opportunity’ you speak of?
(The Boys confer.)
GABE: No.
LOTTA: Which one of you has the biggest feet?
KEETER: That would be me. With a healthy size 13.
GABE: I would like to now turn the floor over to my good friend Buhmann, who has… some.. other form of news. Buhmann?
BUHMANN: Thank you Gabe. We did not simply call all of you lovely people here today to shove it in your face that we can’t yet release the long awaited final episode to SSN01.
KAYLA: I CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER! (She runs to the window and tosses her purse though. Beat. She turns slowly back to the room.) I should go get that. Sorry. (She exits.)
BUHMANN: We wanted to annonce here today, that we would love nothing more than to give you lovely people all the effin’ ‘Hamlet’ we can. So- we would like to pose a contest.
KEETER: At the current moment we are sitting pretty with 454 youtube views for the first ‘Hamlet’ trailer. However, we’re afraid that accountants in the basement just don’t think this is quite cuttin’ the mustard if you know what I mean.
VANCIL: Oh we do.
BUHMANN: We could only think of one way to remedy that. If you kinda people can get us over 650 views- we promise a lovely sneak peak at what we have in store. Thank you.
(The crowd erupts into yelled questions over top squeals of delight. The Boys begin to leave stage.)
GABE: Yes, yes! More noise, yes!
KEETER: Post to your friends, post to your blogs, simply get the word out. Much love! Keep it Gangsta’.
(Tall wooden doors close hard behind the Boys. The crowd is in disarray.)
